safe
I feel grateful for the fact that nothing online can touch me. I am never genuinely problematic. I am opinionated, but I have arguments, I have sources, I keep my energy for things I feel safe and good saying that don’t embarrass me and that I don’t have to regret. I write things I am passionate about. I prefer critiquing concepts, systems and movements, instead of individuals. I don’t misuse my space online. I am uplifting, informative, challenging. I’m not forced to stay online for income or validation; if I lost it all, I would be fine. I don’t have to watch my words, because I’m genuine while still being respectful.
I prefer to invest in everything in my life that online people don’t know about or can’t ruin for me. Even if they managed to, I know I’d always survive and make it work. I’d always have people online and offline that defend me, that know my worth, that share my values and opinions. I’d always have my safe little apartment, my books, my love, my favorite beverages, the creators I adore, and my art. I’d always be able to get more educated, get my favorite foods, visit some city I’ve never been to before, play some games, watch the sky in my bed or on the sofa. I’d always look hot in my favorite outfits.
Once your biggest haters were your family and you not only escaped but built a better life for yourself, mostly healed and found love, you’re unstoppable. I have very bad depressed days at times due to PMDD, but the other times I am fine. And it’s all due to me. I love myself for that!
I wrote in another sad post that I was so scared and sad that no one ever rescued me, and I understand that child, but also for the first time in my life I recently thought with gratitude and pride about how no one “made me” - that it was all me who fought, worked on herself, clawed her way out, applied to the right places, studied and worked hard. No connections, no pity, no favors. I can’t rescue that girl, but I can become her dream version, the rescuer she would have wanted, the big sister.
