ruining you
It gets me sometimes how there are people out there who are so drawn to ruining you. It’s often men doing it to women, not always, but what I have the most experience with.
They’ll want a housewife, but chase the highly educated career woman who has things going for her and different goals than that. They’ll get with her, saying they don’t mind, but then slowly try to change her to quit everything and stay home. Or you meet them, and by talking you find that out and the second they see your drive, your passion, your success, they’re hooked despite being incompatible with what they truly seek. Why do they want to cage a free bird so badly?
Similarly, you seem pure to them when you say you don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, and they clearly do, and it draws them to you. I don’t know why, maybe as an aspect of you they wish they had? Sometimes it’s about getting you to break your rules and try it “for them” “just once” and it makes them feel powerful and like they were the one to make you “impure”. Just like they consider people who’ve had sex with others less pure and want to be the first. You’re sullied now, like them, but it was done for them, with them.
I also got the impression that they wanna impregnate the childfree people the most, and they’re obsessed with being the one man a lesbian likes or sleeps with, or being the one to get you to cheat on your spouse.
Absolutely bonkers. I don’t get thinking like this. This specific type of person sees me as a woman with a career, education, plans, goals, well-spoken, married, lesbian, childfree, straight-edge, and they become dangerous. It’s like they feel drawn to people they perceive as having their life together, having strong values, discipline, and whatever other things you might infer or vibe you get from me. And they admire it, but also wanna ruin it so bad.
It doesn’t have to be to humble me. I don’t think they think about it like that. They just see it, they perceive it as a challenge and like unsullied land. They probably also know they are undeserving of me. For some, it almost feels desperate, like there is an underlying disgust with themselves, and they want to use me, consume me, as if parts of me could clean them, make them more pure, make them a better person. As if they could absorb my good qualities.
It feels like someone drowning and reaching for me to push me under while pushing themselves up.
You really have to pay attention and protect yourself. Be discerning with who you share yourself with.