missed the memo
My body missed the memo that my period is over and I’m still as listless low energy and demotivated as I was during. Trouble sleeping, too. I am burnt out by work because it feels stupid, inconsequential and too easy. I’m bored. I’m sad that I don’t get out of the house or have no motivation to work out every day and then I’m not tired enough to sleep well and then the entire next day I’m too tired to do anything but too awake to nap and fix it. And repeat.
I can’t even do any of the things I enjoy doing. Literally, right now I’d love to research for a piece I’m writing or watch Sex and the City or draw in my journal or play games or read books on the balcony but even though I really wanna do it, I feel exhausted by just the thought of doing it. My head has such a weird headache too on and off since last time at the gym, typical exercise headache but it sucks. I have trouble recalling some words too.
I wish I could be put under anesthesia and sleep it all off. Hard reset. I took so many supplements today and even upped my intake and I took a hot bath and Ibuprofen and my partner bought me flowers but nothing is enough to get this body going. And I’m so fucking sad about my dog too. If it wasn’t so stupid and disproportionate and useless and difficult to accomplish and something I’d regret, I’d just die for him right now. I can’t believe I’m just supposed to keep living another 30 years without him.