it’s time
It’s time for radical acceptance. Acceptance of my face shape, my body shape, my hair thinness, everything. This is just how people like me are supposed to look like. These features look cool on other people too. It was meant to be. Everything is in balance.
Yes, pressure to look beautiful and looksmaxx exists, yes lookism and pretty privilege exists. But any small fix is not worth it and won’t even move the meter. My career won’t advance better without those last 5kg. My relationship doesn’t get destroyed over having thin hair. No one will think less of me for a slightly asymmetrical face, not in a way that makes or breaks something.
Yes, it helps when people think you are pretty; they think you’re smarter and more trustworthy. But there’s a hard line that after you cross it, the benefits are already yours, and another hard line somewhere above it, where attraction often causes problems in your life. People harassing you, feeling threatened, people misreading your intentions, people being intimidated and too shy to talk to you, people envying you etc. and it’s not worth it!
You are most likely already pretty enough to earn its rewards. Trying harder and optimizing doesn’t give a return that makes it worth it because it isn’t prettier = perceived as smarter. Sometimes, quite the opposite.
Plus, you have to build something that is not touched by your looks. Use looks if needed to get started, but don’t rely on it. Looks are over fast due to aging, accidents, medication and illness.
I am so tired of fighting and nitpicking and controlling and treating myself the way I wouldn’t treat others. It really clicked when my spouse asked if they have a thick neck. Having a thinner neck would change absolutely nothing in our life. It is pointless to worry about it. I’m tired of pretending I’d be happier at this goal weight or more hair. There’s always something.