always want to be somewhere else

11 Oct, 2025

Me at home: “I wish I was somewhere scenic right now. I wanna make my activities beautiful. I wanna feel like a movie character. I could paint on a desk in a rented villa in front of a huge window, seeing a garden or forest. I could sit in a hotel nook, or a park, and read. I could people-watch in a cute café. I wanna go out more.”

Me actually doing (some of) these things: “Huh. Kinda uncomfortable. Feels pretentious. I feel like I am performing, but for whom? I feel watched. It’s too cold, too hot, too full, too loud. Why did I pay so much just to have a nicer backdrop for the things I wanna do anyway? I kinda miss home.”